We don’t know… And that can be scary

Sometimes it seems like everything is falling apart and miraculously, it all comes together. 

That happened to me recently. I had a really bad family scare and it was humbling. Terrifying. 

And then, it wasn’t real. 

Everything is OK. 

Sometimes that kind of thing happens in life. We’re put through traumatic experiences and we don’t know why. I don’t know that there’s any real moral to it, except the reminder that we really don’t know what’s going to happen in our lives. 

We don’t know what’s going to happen in our careers… 

We can work and plan and believe, but there is an unknowing. It can be uncomfortable, that not knowing. 

We don’t know if we won’t hear anything back or if we’ll book the job. 

We don’t know if we decline an audition, if we would have booked it.

We don’t know if we book a job, if we will make the cut. 

We don’t know if we star in a movie, if we will catapult to fame. 

We don’t know…

Not knowing can be scary. 

Not knowing is also brave. 

Not knowing and accepting the unknowable and still getting up every morning and facing the world is being an adult. It is not knowing for sure and still going. Doing. Still taking responsibility. Still looking at the data, analyzing and seeing how we can improve. Or pivoting and changing course. 

It’s OK to be scared of not knowing. It is OK to question. It is OK to quit. It is OK to go after it. 

There are also some beautiful things about not knowing. The unexpected excitement that can happen when you’re down on your luck and think it couldn’t possibly go your way and then it does. 

We’ve all heard the stories of actors “I was about to quit and then…” there’s – 

The audition you “botched” that you book. 

The chance encounter with a Casting Director at jury duty. (yup, this happened to me)

The role you get offered that you didn’t audition for. 

The random 749th audition that turns into a booking. 

There is both beauty and discomfort in not knowing. 

I know for me, I’m holding onto this latest miracle and feeling grateful in this moment, even if I don’t really know what’s to come.