Why do all actors feel behind? Let’s fck the timeline!

Hi ya, friend,

I realized the thing that came up so many times this past week was people sharing that they were feeling behind. 

It just seems like this sentiment is everywhere in my life. The universe must be telling me something. 

People are feeling behind. 

Behind ‘cause they haven’t booked their first co-star or guest star or series regular yet. 

Behind ‘cause they don’t have a partner. Or don’t have kids. Or aren’t married. Or their wedding got postponed. Or their younger sibling bought a house. Or so many things…

Do you feel behind???

If you do, who do you feel behind? Your friends? Your peers? Your parent’s expectations of you? Your own expectations of yourself? 

How can we claim our own timeline? ‘Cause we logically know that every single person on this earth has a different lived experience. Every person’s timeline is uniquely our own. So, why do we feel behind? 

What if we said fuck the timeline? Accept that your timeline is going to be different than everyone else’s cause you are different, cause we are all different. 

Now I don’t want to be totally flippant about this. As a woman who has been trying for the past two years to have a baby, I know some timelines are shorter than others. My eggs have a shelf life, but my timeline is still my own. No one else’s. It doesn’t matter that most of my friends back home in RI are on their third kid. I chose to be an actor and wanted to have kids later in life. It will still be a good timeline no matter when or how I become a parent. I am not behind. I am just different from my friends. I am on my own timeline, my own path. 

And guess what? Your career (unlike my eggs) does not have a shelf life. 

One of the things I shared in Brian Break’s Character’s special episode The Actor’s Survival Guide for 2022 is the advice I sometimes want to shout out to actors, 

YOU GET TO BE AN ACTOR FOREVER.

THAT MEANS FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, IF YOU SO CHOOSE. How cool is that?!

Now, I will totallllly admit I’ve had so many of these same “behind” thoughts about my career over the years. So, in an effort to make you feel less alone in yours, I will share with you:

Some of my Ridiculous Unfiltered Thoughts of Being “Behind” (from the past)

“My friend just booked a recurring guest star! Why haven’t I? I know I’m just as talented. She hasn’t even been in LA as long as I have. How am I so behind???” 

“Maybe I should have gone to a conservatory instead of gotten a BA in Theatre. Now I feel like I’m not as competitive and have to make up for it and take a million classes when I could be so much farther along.”

“Yup, I should have moved to LA straight out of college instead of NY. If I did, I would be where I should be in my career with so many more connections and not so far behind everyone who has been here since college.”

“If my mom had let me do that play at Trinity Rep when I was 11 I could have gone to Broadway as a kid and I’d be working all the time now. Instead I’m stuck behind all those kids who were working as child actors” (yup, this one haunted me for years! lol)

Needless to say, I too have felt behind. 

It is a shitty feeling. Sometimes it can be motivating and can inspire action, but a lot of the time it just makes you feel like you are not enough. 

You are enough. 

On your own timeline. 

Your own way. 

Screw what you heard about not making it if you are past 18 or 22 or “women after 30 tap out” or whatever. It is your timeline. 

Claim it. Be present in it. 

It hurts my heart too much that everyone is running around feeling behind everyone else. Let’s jump off this hamster wheel or at least notice when we get on it and give ourselves some grace. 

Let me know if you have thoughts on being “behind” or what you want to let go of in how you think of your timeline. 

(Sidenote: while I appreciate your ideas, thoughts and resources on how to get pregnant, I am good. If you want to send me good vibes though, I will happily accept.) 

Have a fabulous week!

Xx

Jenna