Are you listening to your inner voice?

Welp going off social media this past week was a trip! I definitely learned a few things about myself – like how freaking attached to my phone and Apple watch I am! I didn’t wear my watch and was literally CLICKING MY WRIST all week!! lol

If you wanna understand WHY I got off social, read last week’s blog post here. 

Not only did I get off social media, but I didn’t read books, listen to podcasts or watch TV either. Crazy, right?!

I realized how much of my life I fill with noise and how rarely I allow myself to simply be alone with my own thoughts! Scary, I know. 

But ya know what, I had some damn good thoughts this week! Like big cool ideas! 

“Why not?” and “what if?”, are two thoughts I’ve been challenging myself to ask whenever I start to judge all my new ideas.  

I’ve already been working on building something really cool for you, but this week and getting rid of all the noise helped me to crystalize it and I gotta say, I’m stoked! I’m creating a new way I can support you in your career so you can focus and get the guidance you need so you can get farther faster —  without a bunch of BS. 😉

BUT I’m getting ahead of myself! (Stay tuned though cause it’ll be ready in a couple months!) 

I’m curious though, do you listen to the voice in your head? The one that actually says nice things and has cool new ideas? I realized I haven’t been listening to that one very well, but that is changing and I’m not going to beat myself up about the past. I used to let my Censor (ya know that negative “other” voice) be louder. The voice that tells me, 

“That idea is crazy” 

“It’s bad” 

“You shouldn’t do it”

“Be a good girl” 

“People won’t like you if…”

I’m a recovering people pleaser. Can you tell? 

I also like to martyr myself. 

Quite honestly, that’s what I did with the newsletter in the beginning. I martyred myself. Let me just spend my entire day creating content for others cause I feel a massive amount of guilt that I have food in my fridge. 

Of course I don’t regret creating the newsletter! 

It was a great idea and instead of saying, “Who am I to create a newsletter?” 

I said, “Maybe this will help people. Maybe I can make a difference.”

It gave me a sense of purpose during those dark times and I have gotten a TON out of it. I am proud of 2020 me for doing it. 

But reflecting back on it, I’m a different person than the one I was in March 2020 when I sent the newsletter 5 days a week, spending 5-10 hours a day on it and refusing to even accept donations for my time. (Yup, if you’re new here, it’s true). 

The newsletter was created out of a desire to help, yes, but also out of guilt for having more than others. I felt badly for having things and more importantly for wanting things so instead I focused all my time and energy on helping other people get what they wanted or needed. A lot of women do this in life. We tend to support others to achieve their dreams while forgetting about our own. Sound familiar? 

It’s crazy that in creating the newsletter I allowed myself to do something different and bold and to take up space, while at the same time putting other peoples wants and desires before my own, overworking myself to the point of burnout, and sometimes I’ll admit, even resentment. I am proud to say that those days are GONE. I have found balance and help — something I’ve learned I can ask for #thankyoutherapy. But I still have trouble sometimes hearing my own inner voice. My own great ideas through the noise. 

How about you? 

What is the voice in your head telling you? Is it telling you you’re not enough? That you can’t or you shouldn’t? That you’re not good enough? That what you want doesn’t matter? That there’s not a place for you here? 

I think that’s what I learned this week more than anything. With all the noise, I was having a hard time listening to myself.

I’m adjusting. Modifying. I don’t know how this week will go being back on social media, but I’m more connected to my inner voice now and that’s something. 

If you feel like your phone is also sucking the life out of you. If you are over doom scrolling cause you know it makes you feel like shit. You don’t have to get off social entirely, but maybe try the Forest App or check out this Better Humans article about setting up your phone so you’re more mindful about the way you use it. 

Whatever you do…

Just know, I’m ready for you and your big idea. I hope when you hear it, you listen.