The Actor Loops of Self-Doubt

One of the most important things I’ve heard from casting in a long long time —

Thank you, Erica S. Bream. 

These loops actors put themselves on of self-doubt is so toxic. (And I’ve done it too). 

I’ve had clients tell me stories (and that’s all they are stories that they’ve created in their heads) about how a CD hates them cause they asked a question in a “strange” way during a CD workshop or cause they got flustered during an audition and had to take it back or cause they turned in an audition late once. 

Casting is not thinking about YOU nearly as much as YOU are thinking about YOU.

They are thinking about, do you look/feel/sound right for the role? And ALSO, what time is lunch? Did they close the deal w/ that other actor? Are producer’s happy? Who is finishing the paperwork and on and on and on… 

• Even if you decline auditions, they don’t hate you.

• Even if you turn in an audition late, they don’t hate you. 

• Even if you “mess up”, they don’t hate you.

In fact, most of the time they don’t know or remember ANY OF THE ABOVE!!! 

Oftentimes the tapes or takes when you DO mess up is what makes them love you. 

Be responsible, professional and do your best. That’s all you can do. And your best sometimes changes. Life happens. When my mom was in the hospital, my best wasn’t the same as my best when I have a full open day, a full cup and time. They get it. Things happens. 

Communicate with your team. Communicate with casting. Communicate with YOURSELF. Yup, I said it.

Be honest with yourself.

Can you really tape on this vacation? Great, do it. Bring what you need!

Will it actually be basically impossible cause you’ll be in the middle of nowhere with no service? Maybe take a few days to actually book out. It’s OK. The world will still go on. You will still be an actor. I know it always feels like we can’t possibly miss something, but sometimes disconnecting from the industry and missing an audition means not missing out on other parts of your life. Acting is about being a fully realized human being in your roles so don’t you think it’s helpful to do that in life too? 

I truly believe it’s so valuable to be in community with other actors so you can share these loops we have going on in our heads. You can say the thought out loud, “I think this CD hates me b/c….” or “I feel like a loser” or “I feel so so behind” and people can reflect back to you,

“Yeah, I’ve felt the same way before, but it’s not true. It’s a lie. It’s just a story you’re telling yourself.”

“You are not a loser.”

“You are right on time.”
 

This career can be a lonely one and it’s  impossible to not compare yourself to others. 
 

I meet actors of all ages so angry at themselves for not being “farther along”. How can you be compassionate with yourself and look instead at all you have accomplished and also get curious about what your blind spots are in this business? How do you hold space to be inquisitive and always be growing and still be proud of yourself for how far you’ve come? 

If you have the answer, let me know. It’s a journey for each of us. 

Hugs to you!